The Concept of Regret
by Sakanda
Summary: ...and so Sasuke grabs Naruto's collar and hauls him forwards into a kis, teeth bashing, lips bruising, just to make his thoughts Shut Up. Because in all truthfulness, Sasuke has always been one to cut off his own nose to spite his face.


**Title:** The Concept of Regret  
**Author: **Sakanda  
**Pairing: **Sasuke&Naruto  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Warnings:** Boy love, swearin'  
**Genre: **Romance-ish with a topping of angst  
**Summary: **'_...and so Sasuke grabs Naruto's collar and hauls him forwards into a kiss - teeth bashing, lips bruising - just to make his thoughts _shut up._ Because in all truthfulness, Sasuke has always been one to cut off his own nose to spite his face. '_

**Notes:** Um, I have no idea when this takes place. xD Obviously after Sasuke left, but from there, ah, you decide! xD

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**The Concept of Regret**

'There'll come a day,' he thinks, 'When I'll most likely regret all of this.'

And even though he knows that, _expects_ that, he can't seem to bring himself to care right now, because at this moment, those blue eyes are looking directly into his, pleading, miserable, honest, and he can't stop himself from thinking right after his previous thought, 'God damn it, eyes shouldn't be allowed to be that blue.'

Naruto says his name again, _whines_ his name, and all he can think is: 'I shouldn't be doing this, it's not right, I'll regret it, just stop and back away now, just leave him before you hurt him, before you have to tell him 'no' directly, before you have to--'and so Sasuke grabs Naruto's collar and hauls him forwards into a kiss - teeth bashing, lips bruising - just to make his thoughts _shut up_. Because in all truthfulness, Sasuke has always been one to cut off his own nose to spite his face.

Naruto protests at first and starts to push him away, before quickly changing his mind and pulling him in closer, wrapping his arms about his neck, and attacking Sasuke's month with his typical over-eagerness. 'Idiot,' Sasuke thinks. Then he thinks, 'Stop thinking.' And then he thinks, 'I didn't know Naruto was so good with his tongue,'and then all thought shrivels up as a moan erupts between them, even though neither one of them is sure who it belongs to.

It's all teeth and tongue and spit and gasps and just a tiny bit of blood from when Sasuke slammed their mouths together, but neither of them notices, not because they're desensitized to blood, which they are, but because it's just so _good_. It's just so right, and perfect, and sloppy, and _raw_ that they don't ever want to stop and have to separate and become two different people again who can never really be together, despite what they might think or feel or know, because Sasuke Uchiha and Naruto Uzumaki are total opposites, always have been and always will be, and nothing can ever change that fact.

Naruto is the first one to break away, flushed, panting, saliva dripping out of the corner of his mouth, and Sasuke is the first one to protest, because, hell, who needs _oxygen_ anyway? But the blonde quiets him with a glare, then looks at him imploringly with those blue eyes again, and Sasuke thinks, 'I think I fucking hate those blue eyes.' And then he thinks, 'I really need to stop thinking.'

"Sasuke... What was-- You didn't answer me. You didn't answer my question, Sasuke." And he's determined now, Sasuke can see in his set expression - see in it the way he's standing with his arms crossed, and his legs braced, and his brow furrowed ever so slightly. And Sasuke thinks, 'Oh shit.'

But it's not like he can just explain himself. It's not like he can just answer him that simply, because this isn't a simple yes or no question. He can't just bare his emotions and walk away, not in this type of situation. And he sure as hell can't just say, _'Excuse me, but can we please get back to kissing now, since I really don't want to talk about this, and you already know the answer anyway?'_ because even though they are polar forces - pushing and pulling each other in whatever they do - even though they confuse and twist and complicate each other's lives by merely existing, that doesn't mean Sasuke knows Naruto so little that he won't be excepting the punch to the face that statement will bring.

"Sasuke, why won't you come home with me?"

'That question's laughable,' Sasuke thinks. 'What am I suppose to say? That I hate Konoha? That I have no home there anymore? That even if I did try to return, they wouldn't want me? That I'm afraid of the repercussions if I go back? That I don't want to look into the faces of the people I once knew, and see shame and disgust and rejection there? That I don't want to have to live in the Uchiha compound again, and be alone with their ghosts? That I don't want to devout my life to some lord I've never even met, and then risk it for inane reasons like money and boredom and loyalty? That I still have to kill Itachi and revenge my clan and that I can never truly rest until I do? That I don't want to loose the freedom I have now, however disillusioned it might be? That I don't want to risk the chance of becoming even closer to you, when I could lose you in a snap of my fingers? That I'm afraid I'll end up hurting you somehow even more? _That I love you?_ Fuck you, Naruto Uzumaki, you are not making me say that.'

"Because... I don't feel like it," Sasuke drawls instead, because at this moment, he can't deny that's he's a coward.

He can see the hurt in those blue eyes, swirling, swirling, like a torrent in the Ocean. But he can't say anything to make it better, because he knows he's going to regret it later, regret _this_ later, and he's already an asshole, so will one more tally on the board really make a difference?

'I need to get out of here,' he thinks, even though all he wants to do is pull Naruto back in his arms, and kiss and suck and bite and touch and straddle and grind and kiss and moan and fuck and _love him_ until there's nothing left of either of them except this one inseparable being without a name or thoughts or dreams or demons or revenge - just this one existing thing that all it does is just that, _exist_ - because that's all he would really need if he were able to make him and Naruto such a wonderful, glorious entity.

"I need to go," he says, and turns quickly, because he doesn't want to see that hurt and betrayal in Naruto's eyes, and face, and stance, and _breath_ anymore. And Naruto doesn't try to stop him, doesn't try to reach out and grab his sleeve, or call his name, or throw some type of weapon at his back, because they've been through this before, so many times that he's lost count, and it always turns out the same, and Naruto shouldn't expect anything more than him leaving in the end, like always.

Except that when Sasuke is walking out the door, Naruto _does_ call his name. And it's so unexpected Sasuke stops and turns back towards him, and Naruto is standing there, with his hands on his hips, that same stupid defiant grin on his whiskered face, that same cocky and expectant and hurt expression in his fucking blue eyes, and Sasuke thinks, 'God damn him.'

And Naruto says, "Hey bastard, don't think this is over."

And Sasuke thinks, 'I knew I was going to regret this,' before walking out the door.

_fin_


End file.
